idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
