wanna go halves on a baby?
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
You've changed since you got that strap on
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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