I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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