I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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