i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Bring me that man meat
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize