My first STD was from a foam party
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.