Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(518): View more from New York

Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved

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(518): Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved http://tfl.nu/xr5y

Replies (11) Good night (1478) Bad night (571)
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(952): View more from Minnesota

I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.

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(952): I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it. http://tfl.nu/soz7

Replies (3) Good night (1306) Bad night (560)
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(956): View more from Texas

What do you think she thinks of us?

(1-956): View more from Texas

I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us

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(956): What do you think she thinks of us? (1-956): I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us http://tfl.nu/ul14

Replies (8) Good night (2419) Bad night (685)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo

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(717): i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo http://tfl.nu/9iyh

Replies (5) Good night (884) Bad night (3266)
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(330): View more from Ohio

im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes

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(330): im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes http://tfl.nu/3pbg

Replies (10) Good night (1349) Bad night (3611)
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(626): View more from California

she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo

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(626): she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo http://tfl.nu/loae

Replies (18) Good night (10241) Bad night (1587)
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(323): View more from California

it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway

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(323): it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway http://tfl.nu/ikbt

Replies (10) Good night (3381) Bad night (1138)
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(314): View more from Missouri

the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.

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(314): the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier. http://tfl.nu/vyfv

Replies (6) Good night (4316) Bad night (1286)
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(360): View more from Washington

I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.

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(360): I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now. http://tfl.nu/b1mw

Replies (8) Good night (2909) Bad night (709)
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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.

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(403): But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though. http://tfl.nu/bq7u

Replies (10) Good night (1044) Bad night (715)
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(970): View more from Colorado

I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.

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(970): I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk. http://tfl.nu/5c91

Replies (11) Good night (1298) Bad night (548)
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(734): View more from Michigan

Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.

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(734): Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend. http://tfl.nu/2s7h

Replies (9) Good night (1654) Bad night (858)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."

(239): View more from Florida

I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.

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(412): wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends." (239): I hope you know that means regardless of their gender. http://tfl.nu/t7uy

Replies (3) Good night (925) Bad night (422)
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(571): View more from Virginia

I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it

(812): View more from Indiana

You had 10 drinks. On a first date.

(571): View more from Virginia

I just masterbated then started bawling.

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(571): I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it (812): You had 10 drinks. On a first date. (571): I just masterbated then started bawling. http://tfl.nu/gbak

Replies (2) Good night (474) Bad night (934)
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(859): View more from Kentucky

He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.

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(859): He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny. http://tfl.nu/lk1y

Replies (2) Good night (330) Bad night (126)

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