Texts From Last Night

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  (703): View more from Virginia

  If i come over, it means nothing

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  (703): If i come over, it means nothing http://tfl.nu/o2bi
  Replies (3) Good night (2883) Bad night (1343)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.

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  (519): this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn. http://tfl.nu/4r7g
  Replies (11) Good night (777) Bad night (6717)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .

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  (419): The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. . http://tfl.nu/zh9v
  Replies (24) Good night (7726) Bad night (1169)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.

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  (813): i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit. http://tfl.nu/9lua
  Replies (1) Good night (2963) Bad night (886)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.

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  (902): If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I. http://tfl.nu/orkf
  Replies (37) Good night (8508) Bad night (1496)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.

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  (203): Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good. http://tfl.nu/s47l
  Replies (3) Good night (999) Bad night (2599)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question

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  (303): No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question http://tfl.nu/r4al
  Replies (7) Good night (3323) Bad night (1103)
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  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.

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  (580): And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities. http://tfl.nu/eu72
  Replies (10) Good night (2950) Bad night (861)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.

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  (267): i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man. http://tfl.nu/8n1a
  Replies (3) Good night (1548) Bad night (742)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.

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  (541): Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body. http://tfl.nu/3ysy
  Replies (7) Good night (2056) Bad night (596)
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  (716): View more from New York

  Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.

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  (716): Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories. http://tfl.nu/jhay
  Replies (2) Good night (638) Bad night (363)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.

  (1-216): View more from Ohio

  Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.

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  (216): For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy. (1-216): Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry. http://tfl.nu/kldv
  Replies (9) Good night (514) Bad night (726)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.

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  (519): Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice. http://tfl.nu/3hl9
  Replies (11) Good night (730) Bad night (307)
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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.

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  (606): Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location. http://tfl.nu/qwv8
  Replies (2) Good night (954) Bad night (248)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole

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  (303): Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole http://tfl.nu/49pt
  Replies (4) Good night (571) Bad night (240)

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