Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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