So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
