I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize