Its about making memories worth repressing
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
