I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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