The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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