Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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