I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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