i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
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