I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
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