What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize