Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
