Taylor Swift is so right about you.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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