She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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