Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Randomize
