Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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