yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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