Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
