The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
