You really coming over, don't trick.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize