There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
