how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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