Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
