Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
