awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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