yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
