Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
