eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
