Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
