he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
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No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
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I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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