About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
