So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
