What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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