You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
