Yo dont text me then not text me
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
