butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Randomize
