My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Found your dick twin last night
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize