My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
