woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
sex in a hospital.. check
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
