I'm lost and stupid without you.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Randomize