So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
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then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
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The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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