I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Randomize
