You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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