I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
