I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
