just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
