I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
