Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
It's shark week go big or go home
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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