Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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