I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
