Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
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