Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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