PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
She bit a glass in half.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
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