oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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