What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
