he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
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