How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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