We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
