Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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